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I always knew all my life that I was different. Even my mum told me that I was a surprise box as she never knew what came out. As my dad was working all day I spent most of the time with my mum.
She told me that I could sit in front of our radio/record player furniture and listen over and over to fairytale records. I would know all the words by heart.
Once I was in the Kindergarten each time I learnt something new I would repeat it at home.
Later in school exactly the same. We had a really good crafting teacher who taught us an awful lot. And I would repeat everything at home. Apart from the stuff that was impossible because I didn't have a furnace to burn stoneware.
Anyway my dad was very good at drawing and I used to draw flags with him. We lived close to the airport and I would learn everything about planes until I knew exactly what type of plane flew pass. I had from an early age developed a love for cars. I would know all the cars and with it came number plates. I would write lists for all sorts of stuff. Possibly for a "normal" person totally pointless but I loved doing them.
In school and later in life I always struggled to make friends and/or maintain friendships. They always seemed to much hard work. Quite frankly I had a far better connection to animals.
From an early age I noticed that I was different to other kids. I hated talking on the phone. Still do, if I'm honest, but nowadays I can deal with it. I struggle to understand certain humour and sarcasm. I hate big crowds, loud noises and bright lights. I struggle with changes. Life has always been a struggle to fit in. I felt like an alien on this world. But one thing that was a constant in my life was knitting. I absolutely fell in love with it.
I couldn't see myself never to stop knitting. Until the day I fell down some stairs, dislocated a finger and broke my hand. Suddenly the hobby I loved the most was put on hold. After 2 month with a cast and nearly 3 months of therapy after I was still not able to hold a knitting needle in my left hand. I felt devastated. Desperately trying to find something else to do as a hobby I tried about everything that is out there. But nothing could really replace knitting.
Two marriages later and emigrating to the UK one day I thought I'll give knitting a try again. I struggle a bit in the beginning but soon I had the hang of it again and my left hand was as good as it has always been.
Still though I struggled mentally. Mid 40s I still didn't understand why I didn't understand certains things and why I struggled with so many things. By then I had heard of Aspergers but what I read about it didn't fit. I thought I might be bipolar or had other mental health issues. I just tried to soldier on and it was easier because I could knit again.
Then one evening I stumbled over The Big Bang Theory. I was hooked. Not only was it funny but there was Sheldon Cooper. A genius with Asperger's who struggled with some many things.
I'm like, he's like me!!!
So once again I researched Asperger's but this time a little more closely. But this time I found out that there is a really big difference between Aspie boys and girls. I found a list with the typical female Asperger's traits and I finally understood. That's me!!!
If you suspect yourself or your daughter to be an Aspie you can download the list here
You have no idea what it means to finally understand the why. You finally know that you are different because your brain is wired differently.
I then was talking to my mum about it and she came to the conclusion that she also is an Aspie. And we are somewhat sure that also my grandma, my mum's mum was an Aspie.
3 generations of Aspies and my great grandma 💖
So, that's my story in a short format.
Maybe now you will understand why the name "crazyknitter". As an Aspie you tend to do the things you love rather excessively. A little bit crazy. 😄
